you know when sometimes you get too attatched to say a grp of friends then when they are the ones to like go behind you and do stuff you feel worse than when they are just normal friends or just normal ppl around you. yeah. i guess this is the way of things. i guess things are back to exactly the same way they were before *******. yeah. somehow i thought it changed or i wished it would. and i managed to belief that it did for a while. then suddenly it dawns upon me and i figure, maybe its all in my mind to begin with. its just like someone who is trying hard to fit in but somehow never really managing to do that. ppl say they"love" me when i lend them my homework. its not me they love. its my homework. sometimes i wonder. if one day there was no homework to lend, no help with their work i could give, i guess i would be left with those real friends.
some friend of my mums came one day and said a whole lot of things abt me she couldnt possibly know. what she said is a secret. its not true at all. but i think carefully. maybe what makes it so scary is that maybe it is true? maybe she could tell me things about me that even i myself did not know? but how is it possible. she is no fortune teller. she says she can see into my heart. i feel like saying bull****.
such rubbish should not bother me i know. but well, maybe i just think to much abt what ppl say.
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