i love friday. i dont have anything after school. in school only 4 subjects. even though its 4 very undesierable subjects, its fine. >< at least its only 4! todays physics test, forget it. i'm quite sure i flunk it. lol. see? as i said trying hard doesnt really matter. people dont see how hard you try. ppl only see the end result. its the end result that matters and its the end result that you are judged by. not the effort put in lol.
today after school. suposed to take the bus to eng tutors hse. haha. its quite amusing really. we were let off late. no actually, mavis and i went to find teachers after school to ask questions. so bottom line is, we left school late. so by the time i got to the bus stop, it was already 2.50. lesson starts at 3. so i saw the bus leave, right infront of my eyes. just as i got of the bridge. >< but even if i did get onto that bus i would already have been late. so i decided, instead of waiting for another 20 mins for the next bus, why not walk there as fast as i can? so i began me 20 mins walk to jalan jarah. it was tireing and i will never, never do it again. (: i will just wait for the next bus like any ordinary, sane person.
so after tuition i went home... ate dinner.. had piano lesson. tsktsk. i took 2 hrs to compose 2 16 bar sort of songs. its really terrible. >< no one takes so long really, and still ends up with a piece that doesn't really sound good. haha! i cant imagine someone really playing what i wrote. so anyway, the teacher just left and I'm left alone for the 1st time of the day(:
oh yeah. and Cheryl lee said that yesterday i had a 'i want to slap someone' kinda look. really?
you might just be living a life behind a mask. After losing that youthful innocence and ignorance. you do what you perceive will make people around you happy. You live so long under that mask, that you begin to lose your core self. you neglect it so much, your inner core begins to disappear, and soon enough, you will turn into that mask of yours. every passing minute, your life becomes a big stage, and you act your life away, unknowingly. But when you're alone, when you self-reflect, yous awakens and you realise that you are not yourself, but its too late. When you try to become your true self, people think you're behaving weirdly, and then you think, "don't get them worried or anything", and you put your mask back on, and every thing's back to square one.
in the train is a good time for me to let my imagination run wild and i can try to relate things happening in the train to my imagination. this usually goes on until i get a seat and fall asleep. OK. so today for example, i was in the train coming home. so then i was really hoping to get a seat because... i wanted to sleep. haha. there were no seats so i was standing there with the other lot of ppl who didn't have seats either. so i was standing in front of this old man sitting down. haha. so at every stn, i would find myself wishing for him to get up and walk out of the train. (so i would get the seat) but he never did get up. so i shifted my position and stood in front of a lady instead. hoping that she would alight soon too. haha. so in the end, i betted on the two wrong ppl. the rest of the people all alighted and the ppl standing in front of their seats got their seat. (makes sense??) not really haha! ah well. in so its like luck? if you're lucky you'll get what you want quicker? i'm not lucky so yeah. ah well, at least in the very end, i got a seat for the last 2 stations. ah well, i did get what i wanted in the end right? so lucky, though to a very small amount, there was luck. at least i didn't have to stand the whole way. I'm going to look at this positively and see it as a good omen that I'll have good luck in the end. and that's whats important right? the final result.
OK! i think I've never really posted so long before. bye!
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