and so, the term is going to come to an end in a matter of days. so many things going on at the same time. maybe my time management is really screwed, but i dont think that that's the root of the problem. the point is that i end up doing 1000 things that i wasnt supposed to do and leave out the main thing that i was supposed to work on.
for starters, let me tell you how grateful that i've got no tests this week. or at least i think i dont. Thats a good thing. well, my parents have reconsidered and have allowed me to go to sydney. actually, i dont really know why i pushed for them to say yes. i guess its because i think its really a waste if i put in so much effort into this whole thing and miss out on that one week that really mattered. so yeah.
i have long understood that there are many sides to a person, many different personalities, moods, etc to any one person. i can accept that, can you?
i never wanted the credit, never wanted your thanks. but right now, i can tell you that it hurts to be unappreciated. it hurts to put in so much, and finally have you turn around and say it was all my fault, call me names i dont think i deserve. no matter what i tell myself, that it doesnt matter, inside, it all matters. but you dont see that,do you? Because all you see is yourself. all you bother about is you.
honestly, i didnt mean to say anything about this, but i figured, it affected me. much more than i realised myself. when i feel like i should do something, i take 2 steps back. to what do i owe? like i said. i never wanted your thanks, i never wanted the credit. but its so unfair. yes, right-- no one ever said it was fair.
AVERIL HAS TO STOP IT RIGHT NOW! OO STOP STOP STOP STOP :( sigh
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