are decisions really ours to make? Looking back at the story to me stepping up, it sounds so much like a fairytale. How can something like that happen. It must've been some innate desire in me to want to step up, right? How do I explain that I never wanted it? How do I prove the unexplainable sadness and anger when I did it? How do I classify the betrayal I felt?
Which really brings me to the point that our choices aren't our own. If we listen and we let ourselves be led, things often turn out very different to what we imagined. There's probably a reason behind the things that happen, but sometimes I wish I knew.
You told me to take care of my own heart, and I was so happy. But maybe I misunderstood. Maybe what You meant was that My heart and happiness was important to you. But I thought that I should be the one taking care of myself. And the very next day, you told me to hand it over to You, and I know that You promised that You'd be the one to take care of my heart. No matter how unwilling, I said yes. And I'm going to let You take care of me. Please help me through this, take care of my heart as I go on doing my best. Let this be the beginning of new things. To learn to 'not simply be resigned to, but to embrace life's limitations'. Only then will nothing touch me. Neither praise nor criticism, success nor failure, because I will know what I am. I am a child of God, and nothing can or will ever change that.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
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