Finding things to be grateful about.

I think it's time to think about what I'm grateful for because I realise that I'm going down a very dangerous road.

Right now I think i'm just very grateful for the people who stick by me even when I'm pushing everyone away. I just keep pushing because I dont even know how to deal with myself or who I am. So I dont expect any one else to know or care enough. But to those of my friends who do care and keep coming back anyway, I'm really very grateful.

It's becoming easier to say no and just stay alone, where I dont think about anything anymore. And it's becoming easier to just move away from old friends who have their new friends and other old friends they hang out with and talk to more often- cos of schedules matching and living closer to each other etc. And it's ok. Everyone's growing up and it's time for me to start searching for who I am.

But perhaps taking some more time to give my brain a break will be ok too.