feelings, nothing more than feelings

so, i've been stuck at home. when my friends all go out without me. why do i always feel like i'm stuck at home at the really wrong times. my brother is hogging the tv, and so i'm left to the computer. and as i cannot watch videos on youtube because my com cant read videos, i'm dead bored. with no one to talk to play with go out with ect. well, not that i was very good company on wed wth nat, cos i was more than half dead so i apologise. alright and i realised that i missed another retreat as i didnt go to school. why am i complaining, shouldnt i be happy? but i'm not. i'm practically chained to the house. the one time i want to go for band and i'll be stuck in the four walls of my room, what luck. tsk let me try writing a story... here goes.

once upon a time there was a girl named lily. she was clever but ugly. or she thought she was clever anyway. so then when she went to sec 1, she was bullied by some people who were her 'friends', but later made new friends who were good, sec 1 was rocky sec 2 was great. happy, fun, joyful. everything seemed just about perfect. she did pretty well, got what she wanted, or what she thought she wanted. but later, she would live to regret it. but she had hope that maybe one day she would get out of the seemingly 'black hole'. since when did she have to make decisions like that? since when was she in such a state of confusion and have such dark thoughts swirl around her head. she heard ppl say that the way forward was worse. how ppl suffered in sec 4 and in the poly's and in junior collages. well, but every step of the way people complained, then when they looked back, it was so seemingly simple, the problems so minor, the hurts so superficial. but then it was still there and it hurt while it was there. no matter how fast it healed and how fast people got up again, it was once there. no matter how fast you forget about it. it was an uncertain time, and somehow there seemed no way out except forward, and well forward didnt look very nice at all.




ok. so i screwed up the story. it doesnt make sense. hahahaha. i suck at writing. and you wonder why i'm worried for my english results. HAHA. ok. when i think of a more substantial story i'll be back.