Thats it.

They say that self reflection is what gets us clear and helps us to grow. And it boils down to a matter of self worth. How much we matter not to others, but to ourselves. How we value ourselves. And I guess my issue is that I put too much store in others. Too much store in the people around me. And never really fitting in. No matter where I went, who I was with. There'd always be the feeling of being unimportant. The feeling of never fitting in in any group setting, being the 'extra'. The wanting to be a part of something and truly belong always so strong. A wanting to be me and be accepted for it. And I guess it's always disappointing. I realise that most of the time when I put people first, they dont do the same for me. And theres that thing where no one really cares because we're all so busy with our own lives and problems. Everyone's curious, just to know the story to satisfy some inner satisfaction. And it's a painful reality. When everyday is an empty going through the motions. Days alone, travelling around alone, finding things to do alone, coming home to an empty house. Never being good enough for anything or anyone. While it may or may not be true, it's how I sometimes feel. And it's an uphill journey trying to fix myself. Maybe now, realising and putting words to it, there'll come some resolution. Who am I really?