change. the only constant in life

OK. there came another day. i suddenly remember something my uncle told us during Chinese new year. he said that young people woke up each day and jumped out of bed, ready to face the sunshine of the day. while the old people wake up and sigh, saying, sigh, i woke up again. OK that was random. i feel so 不知量力. there is no English word that describes the way i feel about myself adequately enough. i don't know. sometimes i think it is easier to write a diary or a reflection in Chinese because there are so many phrases that are so true. yes. it is essential that we find out our mistakes and seek improvement. but sometimes it is really kinda disappointing and demoralising when i did my best. like really my best. but...like how i failed my physics test, then today realised that i failed the practical too. then my a math test was so terrible. i think i over estimated my own abilities. i cant cope in a class like this. why oh why did i want to come here. its like i willingly stepped into my own grave. i really need to find the right way to do things. its not like i didn't try, i really put in all my effort and still... i don't really know which is the right way now. i shall just concentrate, focus and do what i can do. i gotta believe that i just have to make the best use of what i have to do the best that i can. and that would be enough. even if it means i fail. don't ask me if i really believe that. i don't know.